I will fax you pictures of my penis

You're chatting with a random stranger. Say hello!

You: I only talk to the ladies

Stranger: well, hi lol

You: You can call me... slick

You: Whats your name sugar?

Stranger: im Sylvie..

You: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

You: That's real sexy

Stranger: wtf

You: Okay enough with the games

You: Hello Sylvie! I am John of the John Blog

Stranger: do you sometimes talk to girls? cause it doesnt sound like lol

You: I was only joking around

You: I don't try to talk to girls on here

You: So. Where are you from?

Stranger: Stranger: I only talk to the ladies

Stranger: ok? :)

You: I was joking silly cupcake buns

Stranger: so hilarious ^o^

You: Keep laughing and I will fax you pictures of my penis

Stranger: please, no :( don't want to vomit right now :(

You: Good

You: Now

You: Let us talk about something

You: Where are you from?

Stranger: im french

Stranger: no need to ask if you're american

You: I am American and my name is John of the John Blog

You: I am royalty

Stranger: yaaawn

You: Well. I guess you French have no problem being rude as fuck

You: Oops

You: Excuse my French

You: Tee hee hee

Stranger: lololol

You: Do you like dirty jokes?

Stranger: sigh

You: Fuck off

Stranger: lol

You: Next topic

You: Take your place Sylvia. This ones a sex scene

You: Slurp

You: Stop it! I am not an alcoholic

You: Oops

You: Wrong chat

You: I like to multitask

Stranger: ok :)

You: Fuck the sex scene lets do something else

You: Any ideas?

You: And can you please call me by my name?

Stranger: sorry bout that, steve :s

You: Steve?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

You: I AM JOHN OF THE JOHN BLOG

You: I OWN YOUR PUNY COUNTRY

You: I INVENTED THE HAMBURGER!

Stranger: sup, harry? :3

You: FUCK OFF

You: Sorry. My nurse was giving me a shot as I wrote this

You: It always makes me a little cranky

You: What were we talking about?

You: Oh yes. Curtains

You: I like the red ones with the velvet that look like they belong in a brothel. How about you?

Stranger: i don't know, i like the yellow ones, what d'you think about those, jack? :s

You: IF YOU CALL ME A NAME OTHER THEN JOHN OF THE JOHNBLOG I WILL WRAP YOU IN AN AMERICAN FLAG AND BUTT FUCK YOU

You: Sorry

You: I am not sure what has gotten into me

You: I however know what has gotten into my pants

You: I large 12inch erection

You: How would you like to get hit in the face with that *wink wink*

Stranger has disconnected.

Abraham Tinydick

You're chatting with a random stranger. Say hello!

You: I am smart

You: Wanna give me a test?

Stranger: im bored

Stranger: sure

You: go ahead

You: ask me anything

Stranger: What is my favorite color

You: red

Stranger: you suck

You: Do another

Stranger: how old was abe lincoln when he died

You: 13

You: wait

You: 31

You: no 13

Stranger: wow youre such a genius *sarcasm*

You: ask another

Stranger: bet you ten bucks youll get it wrong

You: deal

You: 10 bucks and a blowjob

Stranger: deal

Stranger: who was the oldest man in the Bible

You: Abraham Tinydick. He famously said: "Behold. I will corupt your seed and spread feces upon your faces."

Stranger: you owe me ten bucks

You: Fine

You: No blowjob

You: Ask me another

Stranger: hmmm cant really give me one

You: What is the best website ever?

Stranger: depeds on who you ask

Stranger: depends

You: *incorrect buzzer sound*. THE CORRECT ANSWER WAS JOHNSREVENGE.BLOGSPOT.COM

You: IT LITERALLY MAKES YOUR DICK GROW

You: I guess youporn.com does that too

You: But johnsrevenge is not porn

Stranger: I dont have a dick so i probably wont use that

You: You poor bastard

You: It will make your vagina wet

You: And your breasts grow

You: And if you look at it too much it gets you pregnant

You: And if you look at it while your pregnant it gives you stds

Stranger: that sounds alot like orn

Stranger: porn

You: Well I promise to Abraham Tinydick it isn't

Stranger: you are so dumb

You: I beg to pardon your plea!

You: I LIKE SPORTS

Stranger: I HATE SPORTS

You: FUCK OFF

You: Wait

You: That was rude'

You: I meant:

You: off is the general direction in which I would kindly ask you to fuck

You: Ah much better

You: Wanna hear a secret?

Stranger: wow.... so far youve hit so many levels of stupid, idiotic, and irritating

Stranger: sure

You: I like women *wink wink*

Stranger: you sound lke you could be around 13

You: Stranger: My name is stranger and I would probably say that I am pretty fruity

Stranger: like

You: Nope

You: Oh

Stranger: fruity as in fruit cake another way to say gay

You: I would agree with the fruity statement

You: Stranger: I knew what fruity meant when I wrote the previous message

You: I know you did

You: TYPE FASTER!

Stranger: yeah well i dont really feel like talking to you anymore would be a good idea

Stranger: NO

Stranger has disconnected.

End of the ad war

We have discussed it (not really) and I have the most tallies. I have a bunch and Mike has 0. You know what that means? I WIN MOTHER FUCKER!

Haha Mike. I win you lose *fart noise* :P

New John Blog Series: Celebrity Interview

So today I will be posting the first John Blog celebrity interview. Today, I had a chat with Bill Gates. Enjoy:

Me: Would you honestly recommend Windows Server for everyone running a server? It is really expensive.

Bill Gates: All servers should run Windows Server. Windows Server is way better then Linux.

Me: I like Linux better and I have used Windows Server

Bill Gates: You are ignorant. You probably don't even know what a keyboard is.

Me: Yes I do

Bill Gates: No you don't

Me: No, I really do

Bill Gates: NO YOU DON'T

Me: You're an asshole
(at this point he starts screaming in the middle of the restaurant)
Bill Gates: I AM BILL GATES

Bill Gates: I OWN XBOX

Me: I prefer Playstation

Bill Gates: FUCK YOU

Bill Gates: You better change your server to Windows or I will be back

And with that he jumped out of the window (get it?).

The End

You bastard

You're chatting with a random stranger. Say hello!

Stranger: Hey, I'm 18 m usa. horny

You: Hi mother fucker

You: How horny?

Stranger: very

Stranger: u

You: Not really

Stranger: k

You: My dick is flacid

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're chatting with a random stranger. Say hello!

Stranger: Hi!

You: Hi!

You: I am fucking excited

Stranger: girl or boy ?

You: You first

Stranger: lol why ?

You: No at the same time

You: Ready

You: 1

You: 2

You: 3

You: girl

You: you bastard

Stranger: boy

You: You didn't do it

You: I lied anyway

Stranger: bastard ?

You: I was so excited I had a hardon so big that my pants couldn't support it

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Argh

You're chatting with a random stranger. Say hello!

Stranger: * LINK TO PICTURE *

Stranger: this is me

Stranger: are u lesbian

You: yes

Stranger: show me urs and i'll show u mine with tits

You: I cant put pictures online

You: But I can say I look like a pirate

You: arrgh

Stranger: :(

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're chatting with a random stranger. Say hello!

Stranger: hey

Stranger: f

Stranger: broken foot

You: Oh

You: Well I am so sorry

You: I am said to have magical healing powers in my saliva

You: I will lick your foot for $20

Stranger: asl

You: Yes, what about the african snow lion?

Stranger: ��

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I thought he knew I was a man

You're chatting with a random stranger. Say hello!

Stranger: SUCK MY DICK FOR A QUAARTER?

You: Nope

Stranger: aww

Stranger: i was hoping

You: I am a self respecting crackhead and I do it for $2.00

Stranger: hahahahhahaha

Stranger: omg

You: So...

Stranger: okay

You: I NEED SOME CRACK MAN

Stranger: okay crack for head?

You: How good is the crack?

Stranger: finger licking good

You: Okay you got yourself a deal

Stranger: where do u wanna meet?

You: Lets do an e blowjob for some ecrack

Stranger: haha how about titslvanea?

Stranger: ;)

Stranger: hahahahaha

You: okay I am there

You: Unzip your pants

You: Whew

Stranger: wehw

You: Thats small it will be easy

Stranger: that escalated quckely

You: lick lick lick

You: all done

Stranger: heres ur crack

You: WHEW

You: THATS SOME GOOD SHIT

You: I AM HIGH AS A ROCK

Stranger: my little whore <3 p="">

You: JUMPING JACKS MOTHER FUCKER!

You: 1

You: 2

You: 3

You: 4

You: 5

You: 6

You: 7

You: 8

You: 9

Stranger: haha

You: 10

You: 11

You: 12

You: 13

Stranger: callm

You: 1

You: 15

You: 16

Stranger: down

You: 17

You: 18

You: 19

You: 20

You: DONE!

Stranger: how old arew u?

Stranger: btw

Stranger: ?

You: 100 crack years

You: they go really fast

Stranger: under 18 by any chance?

You: no

Stranger: please

You: 100 crack years

Stranger: dont be over 25

Stranger: please

Stranger: but tell the truth

You: I am 25

You: and a guy

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Two wongs don't make a white

You're chatting with a random stranger. Say hello!

You: F 19 China

Stranger: hi m nyc

You: america?

Stranger: 32

Stranger: yes

You: woah ochika yabadaba dooo

Stranger: ?

Stranger: ok

You: where new in america?

Stranger: I like chinese women

You: woah ochika yabadaba dooo

You: what it like in america?

**silence**

You: are you jacking off?

You: I am a man

You: From america

You: What the fuck is wong with you?

You: Get it?

You: wong?

You: hahahahahahaha

You have disconnected.